A Heavy Heart on New Years Eve

Where do I begin? I’m broken hearted that it’s reached this point, that it’s hit this level. I’m warning you ahead of time that this post will be a bit lengthy…

It’s come to my attention that many readers do not understand the amount of work it takes to be a writer. As with many careers, there are a lot of details that aren’t often associated with the title. I wear a lot of hats. I don’t just write, I edit and proofread – along with an editor and beta reader. I’m a “cover artist,” marketer, campaigner, promotions extraordinaire…err…sort of. I have to keep up with my publishing contracts, do quarterly taxes, account for all of my expenses related to my books and writing regularly. I am a social media expert…well, kinda…responsible for keeping all of my information up-to-date while pushing across all platforms. I have to routinely deal with back office issues with distributors and business concerns with publishers. I’ve been dealing with an issue spread across 5 titles with Amazon for more than 2.5 months now. I have 7 distributors/publishers that I must review monthly reports with, and this is on top of blog tours, book review requests, writing etc. And all of this is compounded on top of taking care of my family.

For those who don’t know, I am the sole breadwinner in my family. I have 3 children, one of whom is special needs with another at a 90% likeliness of having developmental issues as well. My children’s grandmother is still battling stage 4 cancer and I am responsible for taking her to some of her appointments. My sister is pregnant, her husband works on the road, and she does not have a car, so I am also responsible for taking her to some appointments. My car has broken down 3 times in the past 2 months and is still having issues, yet I have to keep it going. There is a large pool of people who rely on me, and I’m not ignorant to the fact that you, the readers, are included in that pot. I’m also very well aware that I am blessed. My situation could be far worse. It has been in the past. I am doing my very best to juggle everything, to balance the sick baby with writing, to rearrange my day and promotion schedule around doctor appointments, school plays and finding time to finally clean the house. Some of you may understand the stress of being the “responsible one.” Others, perhaps not.

I’m not making excuses, I’m explaining the situation in hopes that the harassment will stop.

I’ve posted this information in several places over the past couple months, but it seems many of you have not read it. I am the first to admit that I am behind on my website comments, e-mails etc. I have promised to get back to each and every one of you and I still promise that I will, with the exception of a growing lot. Admittedly, I have tried to avoid this website’s comments over the past month especially. Admittedly, I have tried to avoid checking my Facebook pages. Not because I don’t want to interact with you all, not because I want to cut you off, but because I’ve had many rude, harassing, and even a few threatening messages, comments and posts delivered, all regarding the final book in the Vamp Chronicles series.

Contrary to what one reader accused me of, I don’t sit on my bum all day doing nothing, nor do I enjoy pissing off my readers. This past month-and-a-half, I have been required to do a lot of heavy promotion and marketing for a Christmas anthology I was a part of. I also ended my contract with a publisher and had to deal with rights and legalities while continuing to work with Amazon execs on another ongoing issue. This was while dealing with all the regular stuff listed above and the holiday rush etc. We all know how crazy it can be for us this time of year. I like to believe that I’m the energizer bunny, but, the truth is, I can only do so much in a day.

I’m going to speak strictly from a business perspective right now. I make far more money with my adult books than my young adult books. I enjoy writing both genres. I enjoy reading both genres and most of their subcategories. But, hands down, adult books are what pay the majority of my bills, some of my family member’s bills, and all the items my children need, including doctors and therapies. Please do not mix my words and suggest that I write with greed, as another reader suggested. (I paraphrased a bit. She stated, “Youve made us wait all this f****** time on purpose probly. I bet youre gonna drive up the price too. Im so over you. You are the worst author. I hate how inconsiderate some of you are. You hook us and then treat us like s***. You write with greedy fingerz.” – And yes, she left out the apostrophes, misspelled ‘probably’ and typed fingers with a ‘z.’) To clarify, I write what comes when it comes. I don’t purposefully write any one book. I don’t purposefully avoid writing any book or category. In truth, I enjoy writing period, so I will continue to write this way. I won’t force anything. I will never stop myself from writing a young adult title next because I’m likely to earn less money with it. Reversely, I will never avoid writing a young adult next to force an adult title that is likely to earn me more, even at the same price point. I’m not driven by money. It’s a necessity in life, but it’s not what my world revolves around. I have morals and ethics that I would never sacrifice for it. I have quality and personal standards that I would never sacrifice for it.

I bring this up so you have a three-dimensional image in your head. Readers are harassing me, threatening me, for a specific release date, slaying me for not rushing, for not releasing a book in the series that earns me the least amount of money per title than any of my others.

I’ve attempted to erase, block and delete as many as possible, but, to be honest, that’s not how I want to spend my weekends. I don’t want to have to cipher through this level of negativity, having my character be challenged every step of the way. Perhaps you feel entitled. Perhaps you are entitled. But in the South, we have a saying: you catch more bees with honey. My FAQs page has been updated to answer this question for a while now. The book’s page has been updated recently to answer this question. I’m also linking two posts from November that touched on this question. I am always open and honest with you all. I am constantly aware of my responsibilities every second of every day. I can assure you that I don’t do these things on purpose, that I don’t enjoy pissing people off, and that I don’t just sit on my bum all day.

I’ve contemplated blocking the ability to comment on this website. I’ve contemplated shutting down my Facebook pages, removing my contact information etc. But I don’t want to snub you. I don’t want to be that elusive, unreachable writer giving off the impression that I’m better than anyone. Because I’m not. I’m eternally grateful for all of you, even those who have treated me so unkind, because you’ve made it possible for me to do what I love. I love to write. (I love to read too, but I haven’t had time to do it lately.) The truth is, I wish there were another 24 hours in a day… or, better yet, I wish I didn’t need sleep, then I could get far more done. I could stretch myself thinner, write more, do more, be more along the lines of what so many expect me to be: superwoman. But, alas, there aren’t, and I’m not. I’m human. I make mistakes. I miss deadlines. My laundry piles up for days sometimes. I feed my children boxed dinners some nights so I can work longer, do more, be more. I’ve struggled to juggle it all.

I’m sorry if I’ve let you down. I’m sorry if I have not met your expectations. But I will never apologize for refusing to sacrifice quality. I will never own up to being lazy, because I’m not. And I’m sorry for anyone this might affect, but I will shut down website comments and all of my social media if derogatory comments, statements and threats continue to fly my way. I’m human, just like you. Treat others the way you want to be treated is the golden rule for a reason, and I’m not asking for anything that every other human doesn’t deserve as well: to be treated with kindness.

I hope you all have a wonderful and safe New Year. I’m going to spend the last ten minutes counting down with my children. I’ve been working all day long writing, promoting, assisting another author and, now, writing this. My children deserve ten minutes of my day, at the very least. – Christin

…the answer to your question is in all of these links.

Link 1

Link 2

Link 3

Link 4

 

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50 thoughts on “A Heavy Heart on New Years Eve

  1. talisa says:

    It’s sad that people don’t understand this.. trust me I have waited for books far longer than yours. Before I bought my kindle fire 2years ago I didn’t know what indie authors were. Now I do, although you may not have to wait as long a big box author for the title to hit shelves. Someone still has to make it readable for you.

  2. Leslie Rowberry says:

    Christin,
    I am so sorry that there are people out there like the ones you have described. Sorry, not surprised. I anxiously awaite each of your new releases just as all the others do but I have to say it has never occurred to me to badger or threaten you into finishing your creative process. I have written a book, I understand that it is a extremely personal process and is a bit like the bleeding out of your soul. I can’t tell you how sick I am for you that you have to deal with that on top of all of the other things you have going on in your life. Please know that there are many of us out there that support and love you 100%, no matter what. We are thankful that you share you creativity and talent with us. We are grateful for the little escape you give us from our everyday lives. Please do your best to ignore the haters because sadly that seems to be all they are good at. Do what you do when you can do it and know that those of us that are truly your loyal fans, will be here to enjoy the finished product. We’ve got your back girl!! Keep up the good work!!
    Leslie

  3. Autumn Henry says:

    I’ve read your New Years email, and let me tell you that it leaves me livid that people will just send you comments like that. I mean, you have a life too. You have a family to take care of, and they come first. People just need to calm down. I’ve been trying to wait for the final book of Vamp Chronicles, and its been eating me alive for the ending, but take your time on it. Gosh, if you rush like people want you to, it’ll turn out like crap. Then they would blame you although its their fault! Just spend time with your family, and don’t try to stress because of brats who has no life but to put creative and generous people like you down. 🙂

    • christinlovell says:

      Thank you. And exactly! lol Quality is key for me. I can’t say that I always had it in the beginning, but now I cling to it. It is a must. And the readers and the characters all deserve a quality ending 🙂

  4. Joscelyn says:

    I’ve just read your email (Heavy Heart New Years) and I have to say that I am sorry. I am sorry that you have been forced to explain yourself once again to people who have forgotten that you are a human being with real human being issues and concerns. It’s sad that others have forgotten this- especially since in the past you have shared some of your personal concerns and goings-on when honestly you didn’t have to- and still don’t. Please try to have a Happy New Year and time with your family. This is not the way your year should be starting and again, for that, I apologize. Happy New year to you and here’s to love, light, and laughter in 2014!

    • christinlovell says:

      Thank you! I think it’s easy for most of us to get so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget to stop and consider any views, any obstacles outside our own. It’s part of what makes us human, a down side to it though. I hope you are having a wonderful 2014 so far 🙂

  5. Kelsey says:

    I’m so sorry for the way some people are treating you. I love your books, and can’t wait for the new ones to come out, but I can and will wait, you will always have me as a reader. Hope you have a great new year.

  6. Lisa Newman says:

    I love your books and I am sorry for what others are saying. I understand you are a person with real life problems, I to have things going on similar to yours, I my self think that waiting is one of the fun parts of getting hooked on a series, I do check often to see, but Like I said you are a person too, and have a life. I also read you adult books so they keep me company while I wait for any of your others to come out. Some people are stupid, and don’t understand that you don’t have to finish anything, you can just leave things hanging…but please don’t..lol..Keep your head up and love your family they come first and all the rest of us, will have to wait.

    • christinlovell says:

      Thank you! I definitely don’t plan to leave things hanging, but I refuse to sacrifice quality. I believe the readers and the characters deserve a quality ending. I just can’t promise it will come quickly.
      I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed my books, both naughty and nice 😉

  7. Tasha says:

    Wow!!!!! Well at least you replied. It might not be what they want but it is an answer. Thanks for be honest. Your family is in my prayers! Happy new years!

    • christinlovell says:

      Thank you. I can’t say that I’m happy it has taken this long either, but I can say with certainty that I won’t release the final book until I’m happy with the quality of it in relation to the entire series. I’m sorry for the timetable that takes, but I think we all want and deserve a quality ending 🙂

  8. teresalee69 says:

    It’s such a shame you have to go through all of this. You’re an amazing author, and you should continue to do what you love. Stupid people who make comments like that don’t deserve to be reading your books. It’s people like that who bring everyone around them down, and it’s not fair.
    You continue to do what you do girl, ignore the nasty people. I can wait for your next amazing book, only because I know it’s going to be awesome to read!

  9. tgonzalez1278 says:

    I am sorry some people are very rude and inconsiderate. I want u to know that I luv every book that I have read so far from u. I appreciate u sharing ur stories with us. Life gives us different challenges that we must face but once we do we will b stronger in the end. I know it hurts n upsets u by what some people say just pay no mind to them and keep what u r doing. You have a family to take care and support. If people don’t understand then try have a problem. Keep up the good work and thank u for sharing ur stories with us. I hope that u have a great year!!

  10. Jill Cruz says:

    WOW, I cannot believe this! This upsets me very much! You are always emailing, blogging, and making Facebook posts about what is going on, so there is no reason for this. The information is out there. As a matter of fact, just yesterday I was going through my Kindle and came across my Christin Lovell folder (yes, you have a folder all to yourself!) and thought to myself, man I haven’t read a new one in a while. Then I thought back to the millions of updates you have given and remembered the reason why. I wasn’t upset. I understand that you are a real person and not a machine. You have a life and responsibilities. The only thing I can think is that the ones doing the bullying are very young and/or immature. Here is my advice to them…GROW UP! Keep doing what you are doing Christin. Your true fans understand and we ❤ you!!

  11. stephanie says:

    Your not going to please everyone!!! You are an amazing writer who is quickly becoming one of my favorites!!! Yes I like others cannot wait for the final book. But I would rather wait, then read something that was rushed and not at its best, just to make some fans happy. I also know that this bok will be worth the wait!!! Happy New Year’s to you and your family!

  12. Robyn Yim says:

    I’m sorry to say I feel sad for the people/readers who are saying all these awful things. I love your books and can’t wait for more, but being a mother, caretaker, maid, driver, cook, and what ever your family needs of you come first before anything else. Your books are worth waiting for. Anyone who even say different needs a major reality check.

  13. Michelle says:

    Cristin,
    I am absolutely heartbroken for you. Many of us fans, stay in the background and simply enjoy your work. No pressure, just the pleasure, when you release a new book, of spending time with your characters and words. After seeing the events that have occurred and reading your post, I am no longer comfortable remaining in the shadows.

    My sincerest wish for those COWARDS, who do not have the “lady bits” to look you in the eye, when they hurl their immature vitriol, is that one day, they are treated EXACTLY as they have treated you. Bless. Their. Hearts.

    I own two small businesses with a total of one employee each – me. It gives me the unique perspective into the life of an author. Not only are you the “talent,” as the “product” comes directly from your creative mind, you are also the “company” responsible for promoting the product. In most businesses, we are skilled in one area, but not both. It takes time, energy and money to promote your own work. Time away from loved ones, energy you would rather spend creating and money, money, money.

    Many fans are respectful enough to allow your process to occur organically. I know I represent the majority of your fans when I say, we are behind YOU. We WANT you to write and release YOUR work when YOU determine it is ready. And, we will continue to support you, because you were born with a God-given talent that most people will never have – you create worlds with your words.

    So, on this first day of 2014, I sending you a warm, loving hug from FL, along with an “I’ve got your back, girlfriend,” because NO woman deserves to be victimized for her craft, and remaining true to herself. Ever.

    Yours truly,
    One of your MANY loyal fans

    • christinlovell says:

      Thank you very much. It sounds like you do have first-hand understanding of what it takes to be an author from a non-first-hand position. Running 1 small business alone can take a lot out of someone, but 2…I am in awe of you. Keep up the hard work, girlfriend!
      And, being from the South, I definitely snickered with the “Bless. Their. Hearts.” lol Thank you for that! 🙂

  14. Dawn says:

    Oh, my gosh! I will always be one of those fans jumping up and down, impatiently waiting for the next book…but I hope that I always express my sincere thanks for all your hard work!!! Family always comes before my job—I truly hope you are able to meet all your monetary needs and still do that! You have a true gift that allows us, your readers, to escape into a wonderful world for a short time. I hope you don’t become too discouraged with those readers who forgot their manners to continue to take the rest of us on those periodic journeys!

    Good luck in everything for the new year!
    Dawn

    • christinlovell says:

      Thank you, Dawn! I too can be one of those fans. I think most authors have a little fangirl or fanboy inside them, especially when it comes to reading their favorite authors. I know that I will never stop writing; it’s engrained in me, something I must do to survive. It’s always been my passion, my outlet, my savior, and I would be lost without it. Thank you for supporting me in it 🙂

  15. Jennifer Legner says:

    Trust me when I say many of your fans completely understand and will continue to wait patiently for you to release your wonderful books. For those people who are insulting and (oh my God) threatening, the heck with them. Patience is a virtue and you don’t “owe” your reader anything. Your beautiful writing is a gift to all of us and I for one appreciate your efforts.

    I hope you are blessed in the New Year and are able to complete what you want to complete (I read your adult books not the vamp chronicles so I am not waiting on that book honestly).

    Jennifer

  16. Erin says:

    WOW! It’s incredible how heartless and mean people can truely be! Makes me sick to my stomach….I’m literally crying over the hateful-ness (not sure if that is actually a word) people can have for someone they’ve never met! Christin, please don’t let those low life’s get you down! Your true fans will stick by you no matter what! We love you! Those people should be ashamed.
    And you ARE superwoman. Your kids are so lucky to have you and so is the rest of your family. You are an amazing woman who puts the needs of everyone else infront of your own. It’s an admirable quality, not many people possess.
    Take your time, be with your family, and your TRUE fans will be waiting patiently. And if you need anything-please don’t hesitate to ask (even tho we have never met, I’d help you out anyway I possibly can)!
    Have a blessed new year!
    Erin 🙂

    • christinlovell says:

      Thank you! You have always been a wonderful reader that I feel like I should know in person as I feel like, to some degree, I already know you. Thank you for your kind words, your encouragement, and your ongoing support. I hope you are having a wonderful year so far 🙂

  17. Deanna says:

    I can’t fathom how people could rush you. You are brilliant and deserve time with your family. True fans will wait years on you. I know I want a well written book. I do not want you to rush. I would rather wait a lifetime and you be with your family than have a poorly written book and you unhappy. I have been waiting for your books and will wait for as long as it takes. You are my favorite author and I have read your books many many times. I still laugh and cry no matter how many times I have read them. I will read them after I read the last book I will continue to reread them. You will always be an inspiration to me. Take your time and enjoy the time with your family. I will always wait for you.

    • christinlovell says:

      Thank you! I love that you do and will re-read them. I know what it takes for a book to warrant a re-read for me, and am honored that my own have achieved that status with you. Thank you, thank you, thank you 🙂

  18. Zana Wade says:

    Take a deep breath honey! Your family comes first, and as i fan of you i would totally take you out for a relaxing spa day because you need it! Your breaking your back. And dont worry about us, we live in a fantasy world more often than not, maybe its time some of us get back to reality 😉 sooo i go back BREATHE ❤ I'll forever be behind you just waiting. Esp for my kai 😉 but I as one of your reader (Which shouldnt be put with those A-Holes May I Add!!) Would never do something like that to you ever! Live your life for you 🙂

    • christinlovell says:

      Thank you! I loved this: “And don’t worry about us, we live in a fantasy world more often than not.” lol That is the greatest joy of reading: living a thousand lives in one. Adventuring, journeying, escaping reality, afraid we will crack under the pressure of it, and, yet, somehow returning to it with a sense of renewed peace and determination afterwards. Perhaps some of us should get back to reality a little more often, but, I think some of us aren’t ready to, and that is what fuels PMS and chocolate binges 😉

  19. Rachel says:

    Christin, you do what you need to do. Your REAL, LOYAL fans will not threaten you or tear you apart in anyway. I actually just responded to a post that I follow about how someone is very dissatisfied with you. I blows my mind that some people think all writers do is write, like you don’t have a life outside of writing. I am not a writer, but I do understand the struggles of an everyday life, not only personally but professionally. You mention they call you “greedy,” well what do they think they are? Demanding you have it out when you say and not understanding things happen. They are greedy!!! I will patiently wait for you to release your book and when it comes to Amazon, I will be there to PRE-order it, with bells on. I have not read anything else you have written because I am working on reading some many series at this time, but I will definitely be looking into it. I also really, really, would like you to consider (when you have time), trying to make this into a mini-series on t.v. Action and romance, got to love it. Bless you and your family, my best wishes to all.

    • christinlovell says:

      Thank you! I think many authors write with the hopes that their characters will one day come alive visually for the world. Unfortunately, it’s not a question of if I would want this, it’s whether Hollywood would. Generally, you can’t get noticed in the crowd with them, even if you’re covered in lights and shining brighter than a star in the sky. They have to notice you; they have to see you and approach you, which is not the easiest thing to have happen. It takes luck first, talent second, and lots and lots of prayer third. My fingers will always be crossed for this one to happen. I have always believed the Vamp Chronicles would make a great TV show. And maybe, just maybe, one day the right person will believe the same 🙂

  20. Jo says:

    Like the others, I’d like to say how truly sorry I am that people our treating you so badly and saying such terrible things. Most of us appreciate that you are first a woman, mother, sister, and daughter. We do understand that your life comes first. We love your books and will wait for them. You are a great writer. Please don’t allow stupid people and their horrible comments to discourage you. Many blessings to you and your family.

  21. Kathleen Engelman says:

    God’s Blessings!! Many Hugs! It will get better. People are greedy, they want what they want when they want it. Shame on them, stay creative and true to yourself!!

  22. Nakeema says:

    I’m sorry that u have been getting rude and negative comments Ms.Lovell but I have found that the longer it takes for anyone of your books to come the better it is I have not read one title of yours that I have not liked and I have every last one of your books you are an amazing author so please don’t let the negative comments stop you from communicating with other fans and I know I am late commenting but I am do sorry to hear about your mother she will be in my prayers and I hope that in the long run everything works out for your family seeing how much you do for others including me, you don’t know me but trust me when I say your books help me thru my attitudes. I don’t know if u remember but I told you I was pregnant before and I would like to tell you I named my lil girl after Lexi so please keep writing don’t let negative minded people stop you I hope you have a great year and GOD BLESS to you and your family and congrats to your sister on the baby. Take your time.

    • christinlovell says:

      Thank you, for your kind words, understanding and support! And I LOVE your daughter’s name! It’s why I chose the name. All of my Vamp Chronicles main characters are names I would name my own children…if I ever had that many. Congrats on your little bundle. I hope you both are having a wonderful 2014 so far 🙂

  23. Marie MattinglyWoods (@KittyWoods88) says:

    There is a lot of negativity in the world and so I’m just going to send you positive energy and hugs. I’m sorry that you’ve been getting attitude and stress thrown your way. That sucks. I send you strength to deal with all on your plate, while still keeping your attitude positive. I love your adult books (sorry I don’t read YA). I can’t wait for you to put out more, but I also understand that it is difficult, especially with a special needs child. My daughter is autistic and my son is currently seeing a speech therapist and an OT. It’s hard to stay up with everything and not feel like an overstretched rubber band. I love your books and will continue to wait for the new ones. God Bless you and your family.

    • christinlovell says:

      Thank you! All children are a blessing, but some require more time, dedication, strength, structure and support in order to blossom. I wish you and your family the very best. And I hope, as many others do for me, that my books offer you a much needed escape at the end of a long day 🙂

  24. Amanda says:

    Christin you are AWESOME and if others don’t think so they can suck it!!!!!!! Obviously people being negative have never been in the position of carrying the load before. Best way I get through it is to just focus on each 30 min block at a time. What do I have to do right now in this moment, then focus best you can to get through. You are a wonderful mother, daughter, sister, friend, and author!!!! Again if someone doesn’t agree they can suck it! Lol

  25. Shan says:

    I am so, so sorry that you have been dealing with harassment on top of your daily life stresses. I think I got stressed out reading about everything you are responsible for, I can’t imagine being in your shoes. I have learned from my years of customer service work that the internet gives people a certain type of “boldness” that they wouldn’t have if they were talking to you face to face (or at least some of these people wouldn’t). It makes them say extra nasty, cruel things. Anybody that is going to go that nuts over the release has a problem unless they had actually paid money for the book already. Family is always first and if writing other books is keeping the bills paid, then that has to be the way it is. I can tell you that I have a list of unfinished book series that I’m waiting for releases on and some of the authors haven’t even updated their blogs in 2013, so you are well ahead of them! 😉 Take care of you and your family. The rest of us will wait!

    • christinlovell says:

      Yes! I have been waiting for YEARS for one author to come out with her next book: Stacia Ilyana St. Peter or Stacia Caine as I’ve seen her name a couple times. I’m on a wing and a prayer that I see Cara and the Wolf at some point. She’s not socially active and doesn’t blog or update her website. It’s read ‘Coming Soon’, then ‘Coming Fall 2013’, and now ‘Coming Soon’ again. The first two shorts in her Werewolf Chronicles were great. I know what it’s like to salivate for the next book and want to inundate an author with the big ‘when’ question, but I don’t. I hold back because I know that ‘when’ cannot always be answered. Life is unpredictable, and writing is always so much more than merely writing. Thank you for understanding this and supporting me 🙂

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